the waiting

“Waiting to understand the heart’s desire, one is waiting to become heart-free and heart-whole. One is waiting to be purified of desperation and despair. The waiting itself is already the beginning…”

—From The Reasons of the Heart by John S Dunne

And yet, the waiting seems to me the hardest part.

Here I sit, wanting God to move, waiting for God to move, fighting my own impatience and trying to believe, trying to understand that this period of waiting, this is God in action. I am being molded by this. I am being changed even now, purified, transformed, shaped.

Of course, that does little to quiet my soul when I think of all the ways God could be improving my situation. Sometimes I think of how easy it would be for him to just move and change things—and I wonder why he doesn’t. Given his power, why not just fix certain elements of my life?

But Dunne says “the waiting is the beginning.” God is already at work, just not in the manner I would choose. Boy, that’s becoming a familiar feeling!